I would not want to be Potsy Ponciroli right now. He’s reportedly Warner Bros.’ choice to write the long-rumored Goonies 2, and that’s a job I’d decline faster than you can say “Truffle Shuffle.”
Why?
Because this is a follow-up to a movie that’s nearly 40 years old and still an untouchable classic for many of us. Nostalgia can be a blessing—or a curse—and in this case, it’s both. Ponciroli is stepping into a reboot-weary market where audiences might be tempted to roll their eyes at another attempt to cash in on beloved ’80s IP. Even so, the task is daunting: he has to deliver a fresh, modern story that also hits all the right callbacks—especially the tropes that The Goonies arguably helped create.
And it gets trickier: most of the original cast are still around, and the sequel either needs to include them (in a meaningful way) or gracefully nod to their legacy. Cameos can feel cheap if they’re not handled well. Full returns by the original actors can be risky if the script isn’t up to par. One misstep and you’re embarrassing everyone—including a fiercely protective audience.
Will I watch it?
Of course. You’d have to lock me in a Fratelli basement to keep me away. I’m one of those fans who made the pilgrimage to Astoria, Oregon, just to see Mikey and Brand’s old house in person. (Yes, I was disappointed not to find the “Jerk Alert!” contraption or Data’s zip line cable running between houses). I’ve strolled Cannon Beach with a “gold doubloon” in hand, mentally whispering, “Line up the rocks…”
To me, The Goonies is more than a movie; it’s a decades-defining adventure that made me believe in buried treasure, secret caves, and Rube Goldberg contraptions. If Goonies 2 comes with enough Spielberg money and just the right dash of Donner’s original spirit, maybe—just maybe—I won’t loathe it entirely.
But here’s the real point:
This post isn’t about whether I’ll buy a ticket. (Spoiler: I will, and you can take my money right now). It’s about why I don’t envy Potsy Ponciroli. As soon as the excitement of writing a Goonies sequel wore off, I’d see the 10-mile-high expectations in front of me. I’d probably smash a strawberry milkshake against the window in panic and yell, “Awww, shit!”
What do you do when you’re dealing with a cultural touchstone?
You try to craft a screenplay that honors the original, delights the fans, and still manages to stand on its own. No easy task. So, if Potsy pulls it off, he’s a genius. If not, well… you’ll have a generation of Goonies die-hards brandishing pitchforks on social media, decrying him for trying to knock down our houses to build a golf course.
Personally, I wish him the best. I want to be thrilled by a Goonies 2, not disappointed. If he can recapture even a fraction of that original charm—pirate ships, hidden gems, booby traps, and all—then maybe the final product will hit us in the feels, not just in the box office.
In the meantime, I’m just relieved it’s not my name on that script. Not even for a handful of gold from One-Eyed-Willy's ship.
—Your Friendly Neighborhood Goonie-Fan
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