I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure. While I can’t see it, I can feel it.
Something pressing’s down on me. Many things, actually. And they’re not bad things. They’re good things. In fact, they’re God-ordained things.
Serving my wife, stewarding my kids, taking care of our home, investing into people, building the local church, growing kingdom businesses that influence communities, creating art that changes hearts.
Every one of these topics have high price tags of time, energy and money. And they each have severe ramifications if I make mistakes.
And yet they weight me down.
So is the weight something I’m to be afraid of? To fear?
How about to avoid? That seems to be the most common advice I give myself. That’s the advice most well meaning people give. Avoid the weight. Look for ways to offload it. It’s unhealthy. It’s not God. If you’re not at peace with it, look for where you’re being disobedient.
But what if not giving myself to any of those things is the disobedience?
I’m also inspired by a quote form one of T.D. Jake’s famous sermons, The Weight of Glory:
The conduit from laity to leadership is discomfort.
What if the discomfort of my life is the very thing that qualifies me to lead? To stand in front of my family, my friends, my church, my businesses, and say, “Follow me as I follow the Lord.”
I’m inspired by the life and letters of the Apostle Paul, knowing that affliction is the gateway for glory.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
What if the very tactic of the enemy is to get me to believe the “burn out” lie? To subtly convince me to “take it easy.” To “quit” one thing or another “because it’s hard, and I’m so tired.”
If anxiety and burdens are the enemy of the first-world Christian, how can I consciously avoid lines like this in what most scholars believe is the first written text of the New Testament?
And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. 2 Corinthians 11:28
I can feel the loving eyes of the Father staring at me as I complain about my circumstances. As I moan about one issue or another. About how hard I have it. The past several days, it’s been a minute by minute awareness. He’s checking me. Testing me.
This past Sunday was the most frustrating tech Sunday at New Life. Ever. Four days before, our building was struck by lightning, so by Sunday, my tech department was finding more and more ghosts in the systems. Lights stopped working, lyrics stopped going up on screens, audio sends weren’t feeding. And I have no hair left to pull out.
Could God be speaking any more loudly to me?
I think I’m mining gold now. I think I’m arriving at a divine conclusion. I feel God forging it deep within me. And I’m becoming profoundly certain of a heavenly truth.
The best way to keep from spoiling our position is to correct our attitude.
And what is my attitude to be?
That I live like a king. That pastors dream about having the “problems” I do. That since I’ve been given so much, much is required of me (Luke 12:48). Anything less than my very best not only belittles my calling and my position, but mocks the one who knew I can stand here and lead. And serve.
I’ve never met a grateful person who was burnt out.
Keep going today.
Don’t give up.
Tomorrow will take care of itself. You just be obedient today.
Souls are waiting on the other side of your obedience.