Boy-Looking

Have you ever had a funky habit that someone notices enough to make a name for?

I have one called “boy-looking.”

No it’s not some metro-sexual, trans-gendered, googly-eyed perv-term. It’s what my wife calls what I do when I look for something I’ve misplaced. And apparently it’s so bad that I’ve managed to include the entire male race into the trademark.

I’m just that good.

Take my new pair of glasses for example. They’d been missing for about a week after we had some dates to play on the road. I hadn’t seen them since we got home, and after looking in my toiletry kit, both vehicles, my office, my night stand, my bookshelf, and my home desk, I decided they were lost.

Until I get a text from Jennifer.

“Look what I found. They were under your night stand.” Attached was this picture of my glasses.

Verdict? I “boy-looked” for them.

It means I didn’t look thoroughly enough. I glanced here and there, then ruled out ever finding them. It drives my wife nuts. And it drives me nuts because she finds stuff in places I’ve sworn I’ve looked in three times prior.

For over eight years I’ve tried getting better at this, but I can’t seem to make any improvement. You got any tips for me my faithful readers? Or do you suffer from the same sickness? And what’s your quirky habit some’s trademarked?

And for all you married ladies out there, you can now better relate to my poor wife when she hears me yell from another room, “Hey hon, have you seen my __________?” ch:

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  • Man, umm, er…well I do. But I’ve got the opposite problem. And as a recovering retentive I shan’t share the contagion. Yet another reason to thank God for these marvelous chicas we have with eyes of hawks. πŸ™‚

  • Hilary

    A common disease of the male species. The men I know (Joel, my brothers & dad) also have a very specific strain that we refer to as Male Refrigerator Blindness. As a result every time they open the fridge they stand there and stare directly at the object they are looking for until a female comes and points it out to them.

    • Ah, MRB. I’ve heard of that, too, but couldn’t put my finger on it until someone came and pointed it out. (Thanks for pointing it out).

  • Ron Porter

    Men are designed to be hunters, not gatherers…so we have excellent peripheral vision, but literally can’t see things that are close and right in front of us. The next time you can’t find what you’re looking for in the refrigerator, take a step back…you’ll find it right away. πŸ˜‰

    • Does this mean when my wife’s talking to me I can look at the TV behind her and still contend that I’m completely focused on her?

    • Tom Clegg

      This is one explaination I can relate to

    • Ron Porter

      I think it’s because men have much better long-term, big-picture vision…we’re not as focused on things right in front of us because we’re designed to look beyond the current circumstances. πŸ˜‰

    • Ron Porter

      ….and to answer your question CH…I can foresee that being a BAD idea!

  • Sarah Novak

    We had this just yesterday. Aaron was running around looking for his cac card, in a frenzy because he needed it for work. I walked in the bedroom and it was laying on the bed on top of the comforter.

  • Alyssa

    My husband not only suffers from this disease, but he’s passed it on to our 2 small sons.
    E: “Mama I have no socks.”
    Me: “Did you look in your sock drawer?”
    E: “No.”

    I’ve actually started the whole “If I come in there and find it, you owe me a _____.” It seems to work.

    • “I’ve actually started the whole β€œIf I come in there and find it, you owe me a _____.” It seems to work.”

      Oooo, now that’s just WRONG!

  • Weird, my wife and I are the opposite.. I search like mad and she glances..

    • OK…I need a drop of your blood, a hair, or a finger nail clipping please. [fires up the DNA reconstruction analyzer]

  • …hmmmm you are NOT alone…. my husband seems to have the very same “looking” eyes you do! Jennifer….nor are you alone…. I always find the “missing” item and right in the same spot those eyes looked. Amazing….. πŸ™‚ The problem, I see the same issue in the next generation following, like father, like son, like daughter, like mother.

    • So Jennifer gets one daughter who carries her OCD super powers, while I send 3 boys with my skills out?

      THE WORLD IS DOOMED!

    • Well, to my defense most of those times I’m trying to find something in your purse. Enough said. Love ya babe! πŸ˜‰

      • HAAAAAA! Touchez! [moderator ducks behind laptop screen in laughter, trying to avoid Tara’s shoe]

  • Heather

    I’m glad it’s the male species and not just a Ciferri genetic flaw. All 3 males in this house can not find things that are right in front of them.
    Me: Lucas go get your cup in the living room.
    Lucas 30 sec later: I can’t find it.
    Me: Go look again.
    Lucas again 30 sec later: I can’t find it! (high pitch whine)
    I walk into the living room and point to the cup sitting in plain sight on the table next to the couch: What’s that right there?
    Lucas with a gigantic smile: Ohhhhh! There it is! Hahaha.

    A daily thing.

    • Ha ha! I love this narrative. Too funny. Hey, at least your guys are cute! Imagine if they were butt ugly?

  • Amy Burns

    CH: youre not alone! 99% of men that I’ve worked for and live/lived with (ie:my brothers & husband) ‘boy look’ … My advice, move stuff like papers or the milk carton in the fridge. Simple but affective πŸ˜‰

  • I suffer from this too. My wife calls it looking with my “Man Eyes”. Maybe we should start a support group. Or maybe our wives are the ones who need the group. HAHA! … Maybe both.

    • We totally should, bro. And when our wives ask why we’re spending so much money on sushi, we just say, “We’re curing one another of ME and BL. Isn’t that important to you? It’s ALL for YOU babe!”

  • Ben

    Great Post! So true.. I think it is just a male thing. Every guy I know has this exact same problem. Just another thing implanted in us to drive women crazy probably. Part of the curse maybe??

    • Either part of the curse, or part of what God pulled out of us to make Eve. Funny how the very thing that makes them who they are also annoys the crap out of them when it’s missing in us. What can we do about it? Sheesh…

  • Glade

    Man, this is funny! It reminds me of an I Love Lucy episode where Fred walks into the kitchen with his glasses on top of his head and asks, “Ethel, have you seen my glasses?” And, of course, he does this every morning!

    I have suffered this disease a few times in the past, but I don’t have a chronic case; I suppose because I’m a girl.

  • Oh my, Christopher, this is so TRUE! (With certain exceptions like Chris F, who is a category all unto himself.) I remember YEARS ago, 4 or 5 of us ladies had gotten together at the pastor’s house for an evening of girl talk, and one after another, each husband called asking his wife where such and such a thing was – in every case it was right in plain sight, or so easily found that it might as well have been. My husband was the only one who didn’t call that night, but he’s exhibited the behavior plenty of times since. We got a big chuckle out of it that night, and many nights since.

    • Ha, this is hilarious. Jennifer just said she and Carolyn should start a blog called “Pastor Wives.”

  • Actually, I’m the one who does things like that. πŸ˜‰ My husband is the one who can find everything. I’m constantly misplacing things or not being able to find them, and he’ll turn them up all over the place. Some time after we first got married (ten years ago) he hung up a hook by the door so I could get in the habit of putting my keys there, and continued to do that at any home we moved into. It worked–I stopped losing my keys. So maybe it’s not entirely a guy thing. πŸ˜‰

    • Laura! You’re a rare and fascinating specimen! As is your husband; think he’d mind if we all hung out with him and monitored his behavior over the years? πŸ˜‰

  • I have all these conditions. I also started with ASB (Attention-Seeking Behavior) which eventually led to ASS (Attention-Seeking Syndrome). This is pretty much when I try to distract my wife from doing anything productive or useful, or act as if a papercut is as painful as amputation. I also have PAS, Prolonged-Adolescence Syndrome, whereby I still go to Toys R’Us to look at Transformers, watch superhero movies/shows, and read comic books.

    My wife can be contacted for wife-counseling at twitter.com/Iris_park. She has various methods of therapy, some of which are violent.

    • I think I also have ASB, ASS, and PAS, too. I think I’m also Asian.

      Your wife should start a support group.

    • Megan J.

      This just made my day.

  • Andrew Welsh

    The reverse is also true in my household. My wife will miss flowers I buy for her set in plain sight on the center of the dining room table or kitchen counter.

    You didn’t find your glasses because, well, you didn’t have your glasses on. <- place the blame properly πŸ™‚

    • “You didn’t find your glasses because, well, you didn’t have your glasses on.” #classic

      Ah, now see the flowers issue you can use in war bro! That’s heavy guns right there.

  • Heidi

    Haha!! …. this post makes me SMILE. However, The many times a day I am retracing steps to find something my husband “misplaced”…. does not. At least I am not alone. :).

  • Tom Clegg

    I believe it’s a plot devised by the wives of this world to deceive us into believing that they have some unnatural ability to locate our lost items hence reinforcing a perceived dependence on women. My wife is the queen of them all. But I love and thank Almighty God for her and celebrate our 20th Anniversary with her today. Peace, Love and Granolla, Tom

    • “… conspiracy…reinforcing a perceived dependence on women.” WORD.

      Happy anniversary! You both are amazing. Loved sharing New year’s Eve with you!

  • oh my goodness! My husband is that way! so glad to know that we’re not alone! lol

  • I’m just glad you weren’t boy looking the day you found me πŸ™‚ (or else you still might be looking!)

    • It was all Jesus, I tell you! (How horrible would THAT have been? I’d be dead).

  • Connie

    We have the same thing….I might say ” you look like a man, you need to look like a woman”…..huh? But in shopping Den might tell me to “shop like a man”…. get in the store, get what you want and get out (which I actually prefer most of the time.)

    • Ha I like that! And Jenny prefers shopping like a man too. So you’re in good company. πŸ™‚

    • PS :: please tell Den I send big love. I have many fond memories; it’s been too long. Still remember the tire swing off your roof!

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  • gabe

    haha, i get that all the time. my mom is like your wife, she searches for a nanosecond, and finds what i just spent ten minutes looking for
    one of my other weird quirks is that i wear a baseball cap almost all the time. πŸ™‚

    bytheway, when is bernifell 3 coming out?

    • What baseball team?

      B3 is in process, and we’re shooting for a May release.

    • gabe

      ch:
      not for any team, just a nike baseball cap.

      thanks for answering the question about bernifell 3, bytheway. i can’t wait!