When Monster Chases Turn Ugly

cooking spray

In honor of Luik’s 3rd birthday today, I think it only fitting that I share a recent story about him.

One of the most frequent games played in the Hopper household is “Monster,” (with “Wrestling” being a close second). Because our ground floor is circular in design, I am able to chase the kids around the house, hoist them off their feet, and slam them into any number of couches, all-the-while playing the part of a ferocious, flesh-eating monster. (I love my job).

The game started out with Eva a few years ago, when she was just learning to walk. Something about a full grown roaring man scaring the pee out of a one-year old just sounds wrong. No wonder we grow up with issues. Of course, Eva’s top speed was about 2mph. A speed which I could easily keep up with. Now, however, she’s turned out to be quite the athlete. Thus today’s version of Monster is a full-out NASCAR race around the house, with daddy getting hurt far more often then the zippy, dwarfish Oompa-Loompas with a lower center of gravity.

The other night Eva was careening through the kitchen when suddenly she hit the floor. Down. I mean hard. I didn’t even have time to reach out for her.

Scream. Tears.

Then Luik came around the corner. Staring.

I could see him thinking. Putting it all together. Then a little smile crept over his face.

I stooped down to help Eva up when I noticed the floor was slick. I mean like someone sprayed silicon on the bottom of Chevy Chase’s sled. And that’s when I noticed the bottle of cooking spray on the ledge beside the stove. Then smelled my fingers. Artificial butter.

“Luik, did you spray this on the floor?”

“Yey!”

I do my best to stifle a deep laugh, but Jennifer bursts out hysterically behind me. Great. Reinforcing my son’s sabotage of his big sister. Now I’m laughing.

Eva takes it upon herself to start cleaning it up with a towel while Luik looked on. The next thing I know, Eva falls right on her face. Again. And Luik is no where to be seen.

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Happy birthday, Luik. I love you and all your sweet international spy skills. ch:

  • Hahaha. I guess I’m fortunate to have survived my 21 years thus far with three brothers. None of them ever sabotaged me with cooking spray. (Hopefully they don’t read this…) 😉

  • Billy.J

    Man, Luik’s a little mastermind. I never would have thought of that! 🙂 Happy birthday Luik! P.S. Thanks for the cooking spray idea. I’ve gotta try it now!

  • Where did he learn that, eh, Sir Hopper? 🙂

    Have a happy birthday, Luik!

  • This is why Luik needs a fan club, or at least a Facebook fan page.

    Poor Eva though.

    Happy Birthday Luik!

  • Sam

    Hmm,

    I could get nothing obvious out of either ;(. But I shall keep trying and waiting.

    Thanks
    Sam

  • Michael Hensley

    It’s a fantastic thing when we little “bothers” get some revenge on our big seastars. Luik…we’ve got to stick together brotha!!

    Just don’t ever throw her cat into the dryer. She’ll never forgive you.
    Hypothetically speaking, of course.

  • Mandee: I’ll be sure then to pass this on to the appropriate channels.
    Billy: My new slogan will be: “ch.com; helping cunning siblings everywhere.”
    Storyteller: Ummm…[shrugs shoulders]…I dunno…[looks around]
    Shane: If he;’s anything like his dad, he’ll be updating every few minutes. Better not give him one just yet.
    Sam: I feel something starting very soon. Keep your eyes peeled.
    Michael: ROFL! Oh, now that’s good! I guess it’s a good thing I hate cats, or else a few might have found there way into the dryer if we permitted them in the household…hypothetically speaking.
    Thanks all! ch:

  • Cindy

    I think it’s awesome that you tell these stories. I like the flesh eating monster that chases the kids. I used to get chocolate and melt it and put it in a tissue and tell the kids it was “you know what” and they would scream and run and I would always be one pace behind them, occasionally catching up to them just enough to brush the dreaded tissue against their skin. That would really raise the decimals!!! In the end they always found out it was chocolate, but would fall for it everytime. I think chasing kids is the all time favorite activity!!

  • Cindy: “I think chasing kids is the all time favorite activity!!” With eating their tummies as a close second! Agreed! And thanks for the chocolate idea…must try that! lol ch:

  • Christian

    Happy Birthday Luik! You’d definitely be in your element in the James Bond environment of a high secured data center raised floor. The spray butter does wonders on the 2’x2′ tiles. (Careful C–he may just rule the world–or at least the CIA).

  • Betsy B.

    aww Happy Birthday Luik!

    hahahaha ok this definitely brightened my day, poor Eva though, I bet that hurt…
    Luik = 3 year old ninja 😀

  • Chris

    typical little brother thing… I’ve done stuff like that :P. Happy Birthday Luik!

  • Michael Hensley

    CH, It was the last cat in our household as well. Ask Carolyn. She’ll be more than overjoyed to share my evil deed (with minor embellishments I’m sure).

  • Sam

    *laughs* I shall! Verily my eyeballs shall be studiously watching the monitor.

    Thanks
    Sam

  • Looks like we use the same brand for our stove. Cool!

  • you really should put all these yhings into a book its really entertaining.

  • chrystelle

    that’s the funniest thing i’ve heard all day! it’s wrong, but sooooooo funny.

  • Thanks for sharing another funny cute story of your beautiful family! I hope sly little Luik had a wonderful B-day 🙂
    Bye for now,
    ~Ryan

  • Millard

    RPH Strikes again 😉 Will thou ever post much on the underground? ^^

    *chuckles*
    millard

  • Mary-Heather Harrington

    Dear Christopher…this is hysterical, and, believe me, it is only the beginning. Those little guys’ “ve have vays ohf getting you back” plans border on sheer poetical genius!

  • Sam

    I wonder if TPM has a watch….CH: IF he doesn’t I can get him a deal on one online! Or he could use the libraries…..Or even the buses’. Here to help 😉

    Sam

  • Christian: Amen to that!
    Betsy: Don’t you know I’m in the process of raising ninjas?
    Chris: Like what?
    Michael: Like it even needs “minor embellishments”?
    Sam: Look again on today’s post.
    Shane: Nice! I wish my fridge had lasted as long as my stove. That’s another story.
    Debbie: Now you’ve got me thinking!
    Stella: Ha ha…glad I could make you laugh.
    Ryan: He did indeed. Thanks girl!
    Millard: Perhaps soon!
    MHH: Ha! Love it! That they do! Thanks for commenting! It’s great to see your name pop up here.
    Sam: I’ll pass the love on. I know she’s working on something. TBA.
    ch:

  • Sam

    Hmm,

    Well I have reexamined it, so no new luck. But shall keep the two words in memory.

    Sam

  • mommy jojo

    DENNIS……LOVE GRANDMA JOJO