If you’re a parent, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It normally happens around moments of correcting the sub-humanoid life forms that dwell in your house, eat your food, and are able to stuff just about anything down the heating vents in your floors. Brief moments of frustration, your mouth engaging, followed by a long silence as both your spouse and your child look on at you in awe. And you stare straight ahead. Because your child has no idea what you said, and your spouse is trying desperately to keep from laughing.

In the CUV (Child Utility Vehicle for you poor souls who still drive “mini-vans”) during our Saturday outing yesterday, Evangeline started screaming. I mean really screaming. I looked in the rear view mirror. Turns out she just had an eyelash in her eye. You might say, “Well that hurts!” Except she got it out in less than two seconds, and then was just fine. Quiet as a mouse.

Jennifer says, “Sweetie, you are over reacting. Next time, use a little self-control and don’t yell.” A good example of fine parenting advice.

But then I have to speak. I’m the dad.

“Eva, you need to stop screaming over little things. We only scream…when we’re dying.”

I tried to suck the words back into my head. I don’t know why I said them. I just did. I don’t even have experience in dying. I was just trying to be a good dad.

Daughter looks ahead stupefied. Wife tries not to laugh. Perfect. ch:


Brianna · 6 Dec ’09 at 1:58 pm

LOL! Love it.

Nathan Petrie · 6 Dec ’09 at 3:05 pm

My dad’s actually said that to me once before ::Laughs:: back in the days when I screamed about EVERYTHING. Hilarious 🙂

Christopher Hopper · 6 Dec ’09 at 4:26 pm

Brianna: Thanks! Ha ha…
Nathan: You? A screamer? No…

Beth · 6 Dec ’09 at 4:40 pm

Hahaha.. That’s great. I needed that laugh today.

DLouisa Ford · 6 Dec ’09 at 4:55 pm

Oh Christopher!! This one made us both laugh out loud!! I can only imagine what I will say some day!

Billy.J · 6 Dec ’09 at 6:12 pm

Yeah, my sister did the same thing all the time, especially on long trips. Worst time, was when she was sitting on a peanut that was on her car-seat. she creamed almost the whole hour-and-a-half trip. I almost started screaming. Know exactly how you feel man.


Christopher Hopper · 6 Dec ’09 at 6:44 pm

Beth: Glad I could be of assistance!
Dee: Laughters is goods medicines.
Billy: I think I would have been screaming as a parent. $10 says your parents ether cranked the music, rolled up the glass separation window, or had ear plugs in.

Cindy · 6 Dec ’09 at 7:51 pm

My sons’s girfriend cries over everything. She was at our house and was crying over something and I said “We don’t cry over just anything around here. It’s OK to cry if someone has a baby, gets married, gets injured or dies”!! She hasn’t cried since!

Christopher Hopper · 6 Dec ’09 at 9:24 pm

Cindy: See, now that’s good parenting! You were much more thoughtful in your delivery than me. Well done! ch:

Ryan Paige Howard · 6 Dec ’09 at 10:42 pm

Love your last two family posts Christopher Hopper! Thank you for sharing some of your funny stories of your beautiful family, I even shared them with my own 🙂 God’s care on you guys~Ryan

Josie · 6 Dec ’09 at 10:59 pm

I just read this to my sister…needless to say, she was laughing. Much needed laughter in fact. She’s going through the teenage years with her three kids and today was one of those rough days. Thanks Christopher!nnJosie

Millard · 7 Dec ’09 at 9:21 pm

Rofl! That was priceless CH. I have seen some things just as odd as that. But I hope that with careful watching and modeling, I can avoid a few of those Father mishaps!nnMillard

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